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Parent Zone Article

How to raise children with a sense of security?

How to raise children with a sense of security? Written by: American Association for Play Therapy, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor, Registered Social Worker Chan Tsz Wai According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a sense of security is the second basic human need, just after physiological needs. Children who lack a sense of security may exhibit many behavioral problems. Without sufficient support to confidently explore the world, and without enough confidence that someone can provide safe protection, they may send misleading signals through problematic behaviors to express their emotional needs. Often, parents think that managing behavior more strictly will solve these behavioral issues in children, but this approach can backfire, leading to even less fulfillment of the child’s emotional needs. Years of research have found that a sense of security is based on establishing a secure attachment relationship with caregivers. Children with secure attachment relationships have a higher ability to regulate their emotions, solve problems on their own, have higher self-esteem and empathy, and possess better social skills and the ability to establish good relationships with others. However, how to establish a secure attachment relationship with children is a challenge for many parents. Understanding the needs of children Sometimes children need to explore the world on their own and use their abilities to solve problems, while at other times they need the help of their parents to regulate their emotions. Parents need to know when to let go and when to extend their hands to offer hugs and support, which requires careful

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Playing and toys

Playing and toys Shirley Loo:Playing and toys Child, in my memory, you rarely asked me to buy toys during your childhood. I wonder if this has anything to do with that time when I took you away from home to “Fun World.” Do you still remember standing in front of that plush toy? I made up many stories, saying that Ning Ning wanted to take them home, and they cried, saying “they didn’t want to leave their own home.” As a result, you believed it to be true and your heart softened, and you no longer pleaded with me to buy the plush toys. But it also let us know that plush toys were your favorite, so whenever we went on business trips, we would buy one to bring back for you as a souvenir. Do you still remember Dutchess, the cute brown pony? Aside from plush toys, my memories related to toys are quite vague. I only remember singing games around the dining table after meals, playing with paper balls when you were recovering from a fever, and building sandcastles with you on the beach and catching crabs by the rocks, none of which involved spending money on toys. I also remember setting a rule back then: no video games at home. You begged many times, asking why we couldn’t buy an X Paradise to play at home, and my response was: “Once a week at your cousin’s house is enough!” I wonder if this kind of “persistence” made

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Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do

Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do Written by: Dr. Chi-Yuen TIK, Chief Executive, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education  In the journey of parental education, I love to listen to parents share their experiences and reflections on disciplining their children. Exchanging and encouraging each other is the most comprehensive content of parenting education. There is no place in the world that requires parents to pass an exam before they can have children. Everyone is learning as they go, realizing things later on, and gradually becoming “experienced” parents. Children have expectations of you, society has demands on you, and parents themselves cannot afford to be lazy, so they actively learn theories and techniques for disciplining their children. I remember a father sharing how he dealt with his son’s request to buy sneakers when the son was in the eighth grade. He told his son he would give him four hundred dollars. Naturally, the son felt it was not enough, but the father told him that four hundred dollars could buy a pair of sneakers, and if it wasn’t enough, the son would have to figure it out himself. In the end, the son bought the sneakers he wanted, but the price was saving his breakfast and lunch money to make the purchase. He said although his son was happy with the new sneakers, he also experienced days of hunger, and in the future, he would think carefully before making a purchase. The father expressed that it was

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How to effectively reward children?

How to effectively reward children? Written by : Pario Children, Parenting Education Centre Childhood and family have a profound impact on a person. How do parents influence their children’s growth? How to cultivate good behavior and character in children? Is it correct and effective to use rewards and encouragement? Do not turn love for your child into a reward It is often heard that parents say, “If you behave, daddy will shower you with love.” Parents think this is providing positive reinforcement, encouraging positive behavior in children, but shouldn’t the companionship of mom and the affection of dad be unconditional? Love and affection should not be contingent on being well-behaved! A child’s self-worth should not be equated with their behavior or achievements. Do not turn existing habits into rewards Some parents might say: “If you behave, we will go to the park on Sunday!” When the child behaves in a “naughty” manner, parents cancel the child’s original plan to play in the park, letting the child learn to bear the consequences. Although this is one of the parenting methods, if the child originally has the habit of going to the park every day, and the parents use “going to the park” as a reward, is this really a reward? This is just continuing the daily routine! Of course, if the child does not usually have the opportunity to go to the park, this reward would be very attractive to a child who naturally loves to play! Clearly explain rewards and

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Children eating leftovers, the cost for Dad to cover is high

Written by : Octopus Parent, Leung Wing Lok Legendary parenting KOL Mrs Mak (i.e., McDull’s mom) once said: “There was a child who told a big lie, and the next day, he died…” Teaching children about consequences and costs is an unavoidable responsibility for parents. Thus, yesterday, my little daughter Yin and I had the following conversation at the dinner table: Yin: I’m leaving half of my meal, please, dad, cover for me. Dad: What attitude is that, always expecting me to cover for you, do you know the cost is significant for me? Yin: What cost? Dad: The cost means consequences (answering randomly), the cost of eating too much is getting fat. Yin: But you are already very fat. (Instant kill) Dad: There’s also a cost for leaving your food; I will take away your candies, let’s see if you dare to leave your food again. (Embarrassed and angry) Yin: Woo… I don’t get fat from eating candies, but you’re still very fat without eating them. Dad: I’m getting fat because I always have to cover for you guys. (The more he answers, the sadder he gets) Taking away candies for leaving food, otherwise, dad, the king of covering, will only get fatter. Since the birth of my son, Hope, my weight has increased by more than 30%, so I must immediately stop the children from casually leaving their food, or else fat dad will have to pay a heavy “weighty” price. In fact, the garbage we discard every

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